- doing my best walrus impression, I flip to shift my weight. suddenly at eye level, theresa jumping spider floating right before me.

- Recently , I opened the garbagecan that sits in my back yard. It has a tough green exterior and Big, craggy, dusty-orange-brown little Jupiters, sized the carapace of an adult blue crab.

I’m not entirely sure on what basis i know the garbage can is filled with rocks. Cant remember, really, rocks beingput INTo the can, or any discussions of its contents. I probably hadnt actually... yknow
opened
the can
in years. Days go by without me even looking at it.
I naturally ignore it.
what garbagecan? Has it been emptied? Maybe somebody drilled up from underground, replaced all the rocks with trap dynamite in secret. [what a jerk] Maybe They
the rocks
evaporated into vapor - I don’t know what Theyre capable of.

- I lift the lid and am greeted by the largest jumping spider I have ever seen.

- Ambush predators , mimics can sit still for decades just waiting for prey. They outwardly resemble enticingly sealed containers: Chests, boxes, coffins - anything with a lid to conveniently conceal rows of teeth to gouge fatty meat.

- I think we’re both a bit startled and freeze up. The first sign of movement is a shot of fluid out of her ass. The gob of liquid that drops to the bottom of the can. lil dude mightve shit in shock or just took a dump in my face with indifference. Not sure, but Im not really concerned about the liquid while focusing on the spider. About the size of my thumbnail, and iridescent. maybe boldddd...OH well I’ve lifted the roof straight off this comfy, RUINED, silk pouch. a little bedroom? great. fantastic. all apologies. I try to lower it [the lid] while channeling it [apologetic energy] all while keeping track of
yknow
IT [my presence, towering over the can]
a gentle thud, ends the nightmare. hope the largest jumping spider I have ever seen noticed

Im reminded of a story where a spider crawled down from the sky on a thread of silk but only the story and moral not the title
something about staying in hell

"The Spider's Thread"

(蜘蛛の糸, Kumo no Ito) is a 1918 short story by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, first published in the children's magazine Akai Tori.

- Maybe it’s because spiders seem to Dang!le down out of nowhere.

- I look up from the garbagecan, empty handed.
- What happens to a torn spider web?

"Dang!"

xrelocating a spider from my living room to the front yard